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Brian Burke Night In Canada

Originally posted Saturday, Nov. 29/08 but did not appear due to technical difficulties. These were my thoughts at the time, as they happened...

So I’ve got Brian Burke Night In Canada on the tube and for some reason they’re showing the Toronto Maple Leafs playing the Philadelphia Flyers in an actual athletic event, rather than the usual collection of talking heads droning on for about the eighth month in a row about Life of (and with) Brian.

Strange. C’mon, guys, I want more God, er, Brian. Like, you don’t have any grainy old highlights of his college or minor pro hockey career to show us?

Guess not. Oh, to have been at today’s media conference to actually ask him whether he does indeed walk on water.

Question to the Toronto media: why do so many of you sychophants seem to venerate Burke when he holds the media — unless he’s in need of a between-hockey positions broadcasting job — in such disdain?

Get over being thinly-disguised Leafs fans looking for the next saviour and employ some critical thinking. The guy’s won one Stanley Cup with a team that was at least partially built by others. What did his Vancouver teams ever do, really, except in the end bring disgrace to the game via Todd Bertuzzi — to whom Burke showed ridiculous loyalty both in the aftermath of the Steve Moore incident and beyond, to the point where he signed Bertuzzi for a forgettable season in Anaheim?

Burke even made the CBC national news today! Hmm. I can’t recall the last time the hiring of a hockey GM earned that sort of status. Slow news day? The Toronto-based corporate media ought to be ashamed. And as a media person, I’m embarrassed for my profession.

Toronto just scored. Must be because Brian is in the building. Anyway, back to the rant. Imagine if you lived in, say, Edmonton? Wouldn’t you be wondering what all the fuss is about? Or, better yet, in Vancouver, where Burke’s teams continually came up short in the playoffs?

I will grant Burke something, though. He came across as impressive in his media conference today, detailing, point by point, what his teams are about. We’ll see if he can mould the Leafs in that image and kudos to him if he can. Many have failed in that regard over the last 40 years.

Other than that, I will say I sort of admire the guy’s schtick. There he was being interviewed by Ron MacLean on Brian Burke Night In Canada, tie askew, looking ruffled and ready. It’s his secret, I think. Dates back to when he made his name, media wise anyway, during the NHL lockout of 1994-95 when Burke was an NHL vice-president in charge of labour (?!) negotiations and was on TV all the time, tie askew or even off, looking rough and tumble after yet another go-round with the players’ association. It was during that period that he made his imprint on and with the media, which has treated him like a saint ever since.

Oops. Flyers just tied the game against the Leafs. C’mon, Brian. Do something. You’re in charge now.

Mark Messier and the bubble helmet

I've taken my fair share of shots at Mark Messier, a.k.a. the best leader in the history of the known universe -- not just the sports universe -- if you are to believe ongoing sycophantic media coverage.

Sure, Messier was a great hockey player. He was also a too-sure-of himself cackling, backstabbing cheapshot artist (ask Calgary Flame Jamie Macoun, whom Messier assaulted from, naturally, behind during a game in 1984).

And not just on the ice. Messier was such a great leader that when he left the New York Rangers to join the Vancouver Canucks in 1997 he immediately usurped the established team and community leader Trevor Linden as Canaucks captain -- without ever having played a game in Vancouver. The Canucks shouldn't have done the deed in the first place in terms of naming Messier captain, but a true leader would have deferred, and the scenario didn't sit well with Linden. Also, Messier demanded that the Canucks give him No. 11, which no Vancouver player had worn, in honour of Wayne Maki, one of the Canucks' early stars who died of brain cancer at age 29 in 1974. Good for the public image, that. The Canucks, too, ought to have been ashamed of themselves.

And to how many Stanley Cups did Messier lead the Canucks? Or to how many playoff appearances did he lead the Rangers when he returned to New York after "leading" the Canucks to progressively worse records in each of his three years with Vancouver? Messier's teams -- the Rangers and Canucks -- did not make the playoffs the last six years he played.

Having said all that, here's why, right now, Messier is doing something right in my book.

At the recent NHL hall of fame alumni game, Messier wore this "bubble"-like helmet.

 

Messier apparently is pushing both the bubble look and full facial protection. Easy for him to do now that he is out of the game, it could be suggested.

But he's on the right track. Years ago, in doing a series for The Waterloo Region Record on concussions in hockey, I found through research and in talking to experts that a bubble-like helmet -- like that worn by auto racers and skiers, among others -- provides a better cushion and, perhaps more importantly, more evenly distributes the impact of a blow to the head.

But, hockey being the macho and sometimes nonsensical sport it is, the same experts and hockey equipment manufacturers told me that such helmets do not "pass the mirror test", which Messier also admitted during his recent appearance in Toronto. In other words, hockey players are more interested in looking good than staying safe.

Some day, perhaps, this sport -- so wonderful in so many other ways -- will truly evolve. So kudos to Messier, in this instance, for trying to further that evolution.

Guns 'N' Roses: Chinese Democracy has my vote

Guns ‘N’ Roses: Chinese Democracy

OK. The album nobody ever thought would actually be released is being released. Here’s what you get:

You get a fortune cookie. If the retailer decides to give it to you. Hate to give it away, but your fortune is just the release date, Sunday. And you get a G ‘N’ R coaster.

And 14 songs, less than one for each year since the last GNR album(s) proper in 1991 -- the Use Your Illusion 2-fer.

Beyond all that, is this album any good?

Yes. I’m liking it more all the time. I’d say eight out of 10. And certainly miles beyond anything — save the son of Keef Richards solo stuff Izzy Stradlin has released — any of the other Guns ‘N’ Roses alumni have released. Yes, including Velvet Revolver.

I’ve had the new/who knows, actually, how old, disc since last Thursday courtesy my friends at the world’s greatest music store, Encore Records in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. And I have rarely taken it out of the CD player. OK, perhaps I've been playing it so much mainly because I wanted to embed the disc in my brain in order to write this review. But if I didn't like it, I wouldn't be playing it and I'd be dismissing it.

Not so. The damn thing is catchy. Like, right now, the chorus of I.R.S. is coursing through my head. It works.

As do “Better”, “If the World” with its falsetto vocal beginning into what I’d describe as a funk-rocker ballad.

Lots of good tunes -- Catcher in the Rye, not written by J.D. Salinger, being another.

Nice riffs. Nice mix of ballads and rockers. Sure, Axl Rose’s vocals can be/have always been an acquired taste, and there’s arguably a bit too much “processing” of his vox -— even admitted to in the liner notes — but this is one good, varied, overall listen.

Does it matter that it took 17 years? Who can say? Many of these tracks, or facsimiles of them, have either been played in concert or been available on the internet already (though I admit this is my first listen and many of the internet tracks either aren't here or are now presented under different titles). Does it matter? Does it matter that this isn’t the original Guns ‘N’ Roses? Or does it matter more that it’s simply a far more than decent rock and roll album? To these, and I’m sure other, ears, anyway. There aren’t too many good new rock albums coming out these days for those of us who desire something new but approximating and based upon so-called classic rock of the 1960s and 70s. So this type of thing will do.

If that is rationalizing, so be it. Fact is, Chinese Democracy is worth at least one full listen and far more than that. It will grow on you. Quickly.

Aside from the music, it’s almost as interesting to go over the liner notes. Who plays on it? Buckethead, the guitarist, of course, is all over the place, though he's no longer in the touring group. As is former Axl/G ‘N’ R latter-day henchman/keyboardist Dizzy Reed and ex-Replacements (never could understand that band’s appeal and they even had the gall to call an album Let It Be) bassist Tommy Stinson, who has been in Rose’s G ‘N’ R touring outfit.

And then there’s the thank-you notes within the liner notes. Particularly Axl’s lengthy list. He name-drops (producer) Jimmy Iovine, Kid Rock, Sebastian Bach (remember him?), Izzy Stradlin, Lars Ulrich and Metallica (he separates the two as Ulrich "and" the rest of the band), Rose Tattoo (!), Bubbles and the Trailer Park Boys, Mickey Rourke . . . and everyone at Best Buy (which is the only place one can purchase the CD in the U.S.)

Can’t believe I’m about to write this cheap pun, but: best buy this one. At this pace, there won’t be another until 2025. Hey, maybe at that point, Axl can do a cover of “In the year 2525”. Sorry if you’re not old enough to remember that one. Good tune. As are most of the ones on Axl's latest effort.

Vanier Cup should be played at someone's home field

The Vanier Cup is over for another year and the football factory at Laval has won another title, though you have to give the Western Mustangs credit for putting up a fight and not being embarrassed.

But the game itself, as a sports vehicle, is in some difficulty. Nobody has stepped forward to host the game next year.

So, here's a chance to do something radical -- something I think all football should follow. Play the game at the home field of one of the competing teams. Yeah, I know, maybe it sounds kinda nuts because you might have the showcase event played at a small park.So what? Imagine the atmosphere? Canadian university football doesn't exactly draw folks on the order of the American game, so why not give it that true home-field flavour? In cash-strapped times, you'd wind up cutting expenses for at least one of the teams.

And while we're talking home field for football games, it's not exactly a radical idea. Despite what some people seem to think, there actually was a National Football League before the advent of the Super Bowl. And before the Super Bowl existed, NFL championship games were played at one of the competing teams' fields.

But I guess I'm just too much of a purist.

Patrick Roy: The song remains the same (egomaniac)

Had to laugh when I read Patrick Roy quoted on the eve of the Montreal Canadiens retiring his number, 33, which happens tonight in Montreal.

"I had so many good years and we had so many good teams."

As always, me first for Patty. I, I, I....

Never liked the guy, and I like the Habs. Way too much ego for me, and my best memory of him is his goofball hot-dog act in the playoffs one year against Detroit where he showboated a save, only to have the puck drop out of his glove and have the Red Wings put it in. Detroit went on to win the series.

Plus, here's a guy who was up on domestic abuse charges involving his wife in 2000 and last year, as head coach of the Quebec Remparts juniors, presided over an ugly brawl in which his goalie son skated the length of the ice to beat up on an unwilling opponent. Roy has also been involved in assorted other temper-tantrum finger-pointing incidents both as a player and coach.

I don't care how good a goalie he was -- and one wonders, given the outrageously-sized equipment he pretty much pioneered. He's a dink, plain and simple, one who always put himself ahead of his team or the people around him. A guy who quit on his team in 1995 simply because his coach (Mario Tremblay) had the gall to leave him in for nine goals against (again) those nasty Red Wings.

And now he's getting his number retired?

Shame on the Habs.

Queen + Paul Rodgers: The Cosmos Rocks, rocks

I’ve got the new Queen + Paul Rodgers album, The Cosmos Rocks, on again.

It’s good. The more I listen to it, the more I realize that. 

Before you yell -- sacrilege! Here’s the thing. You can listen to this new Queen (+ Paul Rodgers) album in any number of ways:

* As ridiculous. Why bother? Why did they bother? Freddie's dead. Let it rest. And that's what I thought. At first. Particularly after buying, and returning, the live album released by the reconstituted band. I don't want to hear Paul Rodgers trying to impersonate Freddie. But as a new venture? Read on . . . 

* Should we look at it as a Queen album without Freddie Mercury? Is this possible?

* As a pseudo-Queen-Bad Company-Free marriage?

* As an album in its own right? (my vote)

Looked at from the “ridiculous” point if view, in some ways I concur. Why did they bother? Why not name the band something else? Well, sales, for one thing. People are going to buy it due to curiousity over what Rodgers and the remnants of Queen -- who united for a tour and live album a few years back -- could/would offer in the studio. Many bands have changed singers and gone with the same name. The difference, of course, being that Freddie Mercury wasn’t just any singer. Give the guys credit for having the gonads to go for it, regardless. Somehow, I think Freddie would have approved.

So you can either dismiss it, or listen to it.

So we listened to it. Again and again. It’s good. Cosmos Rockin’, the lead and title cut, I dismissed at first as a freaking Loverboy takeoff with its amateurish/cliche rock ‘n’ roll lyrics, but the song has a groove and, well, rocks. It’s preceded -- like the first track on Pink Floyd’s first post-Roger Waters effort A Momentary Lapse of Reason -- by an attempted (and unnecessary) Queen-like intro to ensure listeners that this is Queen. Once you get past that (guys, you’re not fooling anyone; we know the score), it’s not a bad generic rock track, though the lyrics remain embarrassing. 

War Boys -- dismissed by some critics -- is a killer track, a hybrid of the classic Queen and Bad Company/Free styles. One of my faves on the album.

Call Me -- coulda been a Freddie tune. Regardless, a good tune. No matter who is or might have been singing.

Voodoo -- Listen. You’ll like.

As a pseudo-Queen-Bad Company-Free marriage, well, what would one expect? That’s exactly what it is. But let’s not forget a couple things here. Brian May’s classic Queen songs (look ‘em up) are among the best in the band’s catalogue. And Rodgers is acknowledged as among rock’s finest singers. It would be difficult for these guys to release a bad album.

And they haven’t. Taken on its own terms, it’s brilliant. Taken as a Queen album, it more than passes the test.

Well worth an open-minded listen.

AC/DC's Black Ice

OK, it's a Number 1 album. But is it any good? Brian Johnson, Acca-Dacca's lead singer, has been quoted as saying it's the best thing the band has done. Yes, better even than the Back In Black monster because, Jonna believes, the new disc displays more versatility.

Perhaps. Whatever. Apples and oranges. Of course, if you were Johnson, you'd be wanting to sing the new tunes when everyone still wants the old tunes -- which is something every band of AC/DC's vintage faces.

Back to the point. Yes, it's a good album. Yours truly has now hit that wonderful moment in listening to a new album when the songs and the titles coalesce into familiarity. At least on some of the tunes.

Like the leadoff single and lead cut, Rock and Roll Train. Difficult not to like. Other faves: The boogie of War Machine (different tempo but kinda reminds me of Safe In New York City on the previous album, Stiff Upper Lip) what I'd call the boogie/funk (for AC/DC) of Decibel and Smash and Grab is growing on me.

But my favourite remains Rock and Roll Dream. That's the tune I remember reading about in a rock mag where it said AC/DC was attempting a ballad. Sorta. The magazine writer raised eyebrows at the prospect. Like, what, he's never heard Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution? Something of a ballad. Anyway, eventually, Rock and Roll Dream gets heavy, but it's a cool tune, somewhat different than the usual AC/DC fare, yet the same. Which is what makes a great band -- the ability to change, somewhat, without you even noticing.

Word is producer Brendan O'Brien told Johnson, going into the making of the album, that he considered Johnson -- whose singing style people have compared to someone gargling razor blades -- a soul singer.

Ya know, maybe.

The case of the stolen Montreal Canadiens Cup rings

Some weird reporting, or reporting on the particulars of the theft, in the case of stolen Montreal Canadiens Stanley Cup rings.

 

The reports I’ve read -- the ones moving on media wires -- are confusing. Some say the Cup rings stolen were from the 1973-74 and 1975-76 seasons. Another says the Cup rings stolen were from 1973-74 and 1974-75. Trouble is, the Montreal Canadiens didn’t win the Stanley Cup in 1973-74 or 1974-75.

They did win in 1975-76, the first of four straight Cups.

Just thought I'd point it out.

And before I go, just a thought or a few on that 1973-74 Habs' season.

The 1973-74 season, of course, was particularly embarrassing for Canadiens’ fans of that vintage. That was the year Ken Dryden went on sabbatical to article for a Toronto law firm — and discovered, as he noted in his marvelous book The Game, that Canadians didn’t watch hockey games so much as they watched the replays.

Replacing Dryden in goal that year was the triumvirate of Michel Plasse, Michel (Bunny) Larocque and Wayne Thomas. It worked, for a time, particularly when Larocque and Thomas (who led the goalies with 23 wins and a respectable 2.76 goals-against average) played. But Plasse was pathetic, the victim of 9-2 losses to the Toronto Maple Leafs and New York Rangers and an embarrassing 8-0 home-ice embarrassment at the hands of the Boston Bruins.

Yet despite all of this, the Habs that year managed a 45-24-9 record, second in the East Division behind Boston (52-17-9) , though they lost in the first round to the New York Rangers. 

Amazing, really. And a fabulous year, all things considered. For any other franchise.

Once again, CFL, go to one division

Once again, we have an East-West matchup in the so-called Eastern final of the Canadian Football League.

Montreal will play Edmonton. So this opens the CFL up to the usual criticism of how ludicrous it is to have a Western team in the East final.

Actually, it's not ludicrous, it's just the result of the crossover employed when one division -- and so far in CFL history it's always been the East -- is worse than the West.

But shouldn't this tell the CFL something? The Grey Cup, which has featured several all-West finals in recent years, has long gone beyond being some sort of faux national East-West clash. It's a football game, and the best teams should be in it, regardless of where they reside.

It's long past time the league adopted the following format:

* Go to one, eight-team division. Top six make the playoffs.
* Top two teams get a first-round playoff bye
* Next four teams are seeded 1 through 4 and play off in a 1 vs. 4, 2 vs. 3 setup.
* The survivors are then re-seeded against the top two teams that received a bye.
* The survivors play for the Grey Cup.

Case closed.

I don't even like the Leafs, but I like these Leafs

Actually, I like the Montreal Canadiens. Grew up a fan. So it's difficult to like the Leafs. And this has nothing to do with the Habs' ugly 6-3 loss to the Leafs last night -- Montreal deserved it with an indifferent effort led by the "play when I feel like it" Alex Kovalev.

No, I like these Leafs under new coach Ron Wilson. They're young, they play hard all the time, and they are rid of the egos of what I call "Toronto superstars" like Darcy Tucker and Bryan McCabe, a couple of average players who, simply because they played in Toronto, were elevated in terms of publicity far, far beyond their stations.

And I like these Leafs because Mats Sundin isn't around. I like Sundin as a person and player, but he's lost me this year with his soap-opera "will I play, won't I play" status. This nonsense in the NHL, exemplified through such antics as previously displayed by Peter Forsberg, Scott Niedermayer and Teemu Selanne, has got to stop. There ought to be a rule.

And finally, what I like about these Leafs is Wilson. He doesn't take any crap, from media or players, and you earn your ice time with him. If you don't play well, you sit.

Not saying these guys are going to win the Stanley Cup, but they're going to do far, far better than pre-season prognostications indicated. Don't be surprised if they make the playoffs.