Take the Lane

Moron of the week, #19

It is totally ageist of me to assume that younger cyclists are the ones to zoom past pedestrians without so much as a how-do-you-do.

Today on the sidewalk along Homer Watson near Ottawa, I was buzzed by a full-grown, mature adult on a mountain bike who did not scare the daylights out of me, but came mighty close. It happened so quickly that I was stunned long enough for him to get out of audible range, though I thought some mighty thoughts.

Use your bell. Use your voice. How hard can it be?

Moron of the Week, #19

In keeping with the theme of bike lights and night riders, the Moron of the Week award goes to the two dudes charging downhill on their mountain bikes on Wonderland Road near Oxford Road in London last night, around 8:30 p.m.

No lights. Nothing reflective. Dark clothing. Riding against the traffic flow. Age, early 20s. Can you say, "Organ donors"?

Yeah, I went to an out-of-town source for these Morons, but they were so startlingly stupid, that I couldn't resist.

More on NYPD and morons

My question way back in July about morons and the New York police officer who pushed a Critical Mass rider off his bike has been partly answered.

An Associated Press report says that a New York judge dismissed all charges against the bicyclist. Christopher Long had been charged with obstructing traffic and deliberating steering his bicycle into a police officer during a Critical Mass event. But a YouTube video shows the cyclist trying to steer away from the officer, who body slams him off the bike.

The NYPD person, Patrick Pogan, has been assigned to desk duty while his bosses investigate. No word on whether there will be charges against Pogan, whose sworn testimony about what happened was what led to the charge in the first place . . . sworn testimony that is clearly contradicted by the video.

Makes you wonder about every other charge Pogan swore to, doesn't it?

It makes you think, also, about the debate over "Big Brother" security cams on every street corner. Perhaps, rather than leaving those cameras in the control of civil authorities, the cameras should just be distributed to members of the public, who can post to YouTube for the e-court of public opinion.

Moron of the Week, #18

This nomination for the Moron of the Week came from my Calgary-dwelling brother as a comment to the last Moron posting. It was such a well-written rant, that I felt it deserved to be the Moron of the Week, #18.
Without further ado, here it is:

"I wish to submit a nomination for Moron of the Week… and my submission is the City of Calgary Police Department, who in their infinite wisdom is pursing an enforcement strategy for cyclists on the city pathways ticketing those who do not have bells or exceed the speed limit of 20 kms per hour.

"Keeping in mind that they will not be charging the serpentine pedestrians, the herds that walk five abreast on the walkways or the dog walkers who let fido wander on an extendalead stretched across the path like a limbo pole… oh no. They are instead focusing on the commuter cyclists who choose to ride to and from work, avoiding the already clogged city streets.

"It is so ironic that you can ride your bicycle along the Bow River pathway in the downtown and watch the crack dealers sell their products in the open, while catching a ticket for 4 kms over. This is what we call in the west JUSTICE.

"And bells… somebody please tell me what a tinkle on a bell is going to do to warn the iPod-wrapped walker who is wandering aimlessly? A hearty 'LOOK OUT' is much more in order. Personally, I have been using my mouth as an early warning device for decades… it works great.

"A much simpler approach would be to simply ticket anyone, cyclists, pedestrians, long boarders, skaters…anyone who displays reckless behaviour…what is so wrong with that?

"With all of the crime available, why in the world are they attacking a group of people who contribute to clean air, reduce clogged streets, engage in a healthy activity, and generally have fun doing it?

"My nomination – The City of Calgary Police Department – Moron of the week!!!"

Moron of the week, #17

This Moron of the Week goes out to all those motorists who think it's funny to smash a bottle in a bicycle lane, or at the right side of the road surface.

I hate broken glass. I hate it at the beach, I hate it in kiddie playgrounds and I hate it on the road, when my tires absorb it like some kind of hard-wall Bounty towel. Today, it was newly smashed glass on a bike lane on Block Line Road near Westmount. A minefield of clear glass that I rode through.

I know that plastic bottles are a blight on the landscape, floating down rivers, tossed around bus stops, but if we ever get rid of plastic bottles and return to glass containers, I shudder to imagine the glass minefields that will confront cyclists. Maybe plastic bottles are the lesser evil.

Is this NYPD officer the moron of the week?

I would have to say that this particular New York City police officer is the moron of the week.

There's a video posted at YouTube that shows the unidentified officer body-checking a cyclist in last Friday's Critical Mass in Times Square. According to the Associated Press, the officer has been stripped of his badge and his gun, and placed on desk duty pending the outcome of a police department investigation.

The cyclist, Christopher Long, 29, of Hoboken, N.J. was arrested for obstructing traffic in Times Square, according to AP. He was charged with attempted assault, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. AP reports that Long is alleged to have kicked and squirmed while being arrested. Gee, I wonder why Long would have been agitated about the incident?

If the charges against Long are dropped, as they should be, and the officer is disciplined, as he should be, you can thank citizen video. Keep those cameras rolling, folks.

Moron of the Week, #15

Whoa, potty mouth.

You were driving a white Dodge small truck with a cap and a Canadian car flag, turning right onto Ottawa Street from Alpine Road today.

The object of your anger was a guy on a bike, sitting on it but pushing it with his feet along the crosswalk.

Coffee in hand, you yelled, loud enough to be heard 100 metres away, "Come on, ya f------ b------." Was there a touch of racial tension there because the cyclist was of a darker hue?

Sure it was hot, but no need to get hot under the collar. Would you have yelled if it was a young mom pushing a kid in a stroller?

Whatever your reason, you earned the title of Moron of the Week.

Moron of the Week, #14

Haven't had a moron of the week for a month, but this fresh-faced, smiling young woman from St. Mary's High School deserves the honour.

Today, about 8:30 a.m., you were riding on the sidewalk on Strasburg Road and cut through the gas bar parking lot to Block Line Road. Any reasonably logical person might have thought you were heading to the clearly marked bicycle lane on Block Line, but without an "Excuse me" or other loud warning, you headed directly at two grey-haired pedestrians who were walking side-by-side in the sidewalk, nearly clipping one who jumped back out of the way.

There's a bike lane for a reason. There was hardly any traffic on the road. The road surface is even smoother than the sidewalk. Why use the sidewalk?

Moron of the Week, #13

I had trouble figuring out which one was the bigger moron: the cyclist who was leading the duo into danger or the cyclist who was blindly following.

Today, 6 p.m., on Block Line Road. There's a hill on BLR that rolls down to the stop light at Strasburg Road. The adjacent wooded hill blocks line of sight for traffic approaching from the right until you are pretty much right at the intersection.

So, booting down the hill, on the sidewalk even though there's a bike lane, come two mountain bikes ridden by a 20-something couple. The light is red, but the leader doesn't touch the brakes. Did he think it would turn green as they got there?

Anyway, he rockets through the intersection against the red, and she is right behind him.

Amazingly, no one dies, but not because of any smart move made by either cyclist.

You decide which one was the bigger moron.

Moron of the week, #12

Was this motorist even awake?

Small green car on Ottawa Street near the ramp to the Expressway. Today, around 1 p.m. He was tailing me, even slowed down such that I was at his right front fender. As I followed the curve of Ottawa Street to the left, he turned right onto the ramp. No contact, but I was forced up the ramp. Got to use my air horn, at least. No reaction from him.

I'm pretty sure he was asleep... You, sir, are the Moron of the Week!