Within Earshot

Last Chance to Vote for Velcro Lover!!

By Colin Hunter

Rod Martin of Waterloo has a burning passion. For Velcro shoes. And that passion could make him suddenly wealthy.

Thanks to an unusual contest hosted by Microsoft, Rod's passion for Velcro shoes may qualify him for a $25,000 prize.

Here's the deal: Microsoft cooked up a competition called Share Your Passion, which invited do-it-yourself filmmakers to submit videos about -- you guessed it -- their passions.  Most people filmed short films about more sensible passions, like animal rescue or babies or yoga or oceanography. 

The video Rod made with his buddy David Paisley is currently ranked second, just behind a short film about cute newborn triplets.

VOTING CLOSES THIS SUNDAY, so there's still time to cast your vote. 

Why vote?  Here's why: Rod and and David say that, if their video wins, they'll donate some of the prize money to the new recreation centre in Elmira and other good causes. So hooray for Velcro shoes. Watch the video below, and vote for it HERE.

Video: Velcro Shoes!

Downtown Kitchener: Destination or Death Trap? You Say.

by Colin Hunter

David Erhenworth, namesake of the yummy-foodery David's Gourmet, posted a longish comment on one of my recent blog posts (this one), offering his counterpoints to some stuff I wrote about Kitchener's downtown.

I had expressed the opinion that downtown Kitchener has an unfairly negative reputation, which is perpetuated by suburbanites who never actually visit downtown to see what it's like.

David (who has made headlines recently for his stance on the Food Not Bombs drive), suggested that downtown Kitchener has earned its crummy reputation, since it offers little in the way of shopping and family-friendly entertainment. You can read his full comments here.

I appreciate David's feedback (though I don't completely agree with much of it), and I do think he raises some valid and important questions.

I'm curious to know what y'all think. Does downtown Kitchener offer any entertainment options to families?  Do you feel safe walking downtown? Ever been offered crack?

Feel free to post comments, but only constructive comments. Flaming accomplishes nothing.

People of Earth: Meet Vincat. They Come in Peace (And Sequins).

by Colin Hunter

How can you not be intrigued by a band whose admitted musical influences include early '90s educational videos, cosmic storms, space travel, extraterrestrial activity and existential crisis?

I am intrigued.

The band is called Vincat, and they may or may not be earthlings.  According to their website, they are from Victoria B.C., though perhaps that's merely a stopover from Alpha Centauri.  Go listen to the music on their site. It's actually fabulously trippy, spacey and quite melodic. 

If David Bowie had done even MORE drugs in the 1970s, he probably would have sounded something like Vincat.

Vincat plays The Trepid House in Waterloo this Friday, with openers International Falls and No Gold. You couldn't ask for a better venue to experience Vincat than The Trepid House, since it too is wonderfully off-kilter (try climbing the ladder from the pirate room to the arboretum, and you'll see what I mean). The space-warp starts at 8:30 p.m.   Wear your tinfoil hat.

He don't write good at all...

by Colin Hunter

The collected works of poet William Topaz McGonagall were bought a few days ago by a collector at auction for $12,840.  That's a lot of money, especially considering that McGonagall is widely considered the worst poet to ever brutalize the English language. He hadn't the slightest talents for meter, verse, rhythm or rhyme. He was, and posthumously remains, terrible.

Here's a snippet for your reading (dis)pleasure:

A Tribute to Dr. Murison

He told me at once what was ailing me;
He said I had been writing too much poetry;
And from writing poetry I would have to refrain,
Because I was suffering from inflammation of the brain.

If you're a glutton for punishment, you can find lots more here.

He write real good!

by Colin Hunter

Hey literary buffs: want to meet a really, really good novelist?  I do.  Thankfully, one such novelist is giving a talk TONIGHT at the Kitchener Public Library!  His name is Trevor Cole and his debut novel, Norman Bray in the Performance of His Life, is one of the bestest books I've read in gobs of eons of ages. It's a very dark (like, charcoal grey) comedy about a failed actor and egomaniac at the end of his career and possibly his life.  Read it.

Cole's talk is at 7 p.m.  It's free, so you can afford it, and it should be thoroughly neato.  You have to register in advance so go to the KPL site to find out how.

That is all.

A Slogan for Downtown Kitchener: "Music, not Muggings"

By Colin Hunter

In a letter to the editor in today's edition of The Record, a local suburbanite named Hans Koster wrote that "ordinary people like me refuse to go downtown. Drug dealers, drug users, aggressive panhandlers and loiterers rule the downtown."  Read the whole letter here, if you're so inclined.

I too consider myself a fairly ordinary person (aside from the emotionally crippling social disorders), but I take a different stance, which I will phrase thusly:

"Ordinary people like me refuse to go into the suburbs. White-collar yuppies, pesticide-laden lawns, uncontrolled tricyclers, errant street-hockey balls, and SUV-driving soccer moms rule the suburbs."

Downtown gets an unfair rap. Sure, there are some unsavoury types, but they don't "rule" the downtown. If you don't want drugs, the dealers aren't interested in you. If you don't want to give spare change to panhandlers, just don't.  As for those loiterers, yes, it is quite terrifying how they (gasp!) sit around doing nothing -- but even they are relatively harmless.

The reason suburbanites (or "Outlanders," as we downtowners call them) are scared of the downtown is precisely because they don't spend any time here. Kind of a catch-22, that is. 

Come on down, Outlanders. You'll be OK. And If you get mugged, I'll personally reimburse you.

Which brings me to the something resembling a point.  There are at least three very good reasons to brave downtown Kitchener this weekend, all of which involve the enriching power of live music.

Reason 1.  Jazz songstress Denise Pelley is performing at the Registry Theatre tonight. Pelley has performed at the Uptown Waterloo Jazz Festival, as well as a whole lotta other places. She's got a gorgeous voice and great stage presence, so there you go.

Reason 2. Jacob Moon is headlining a concert at The Gig Theatre tonight, with proceeds going to a group of local volunteers who will soon travel to war-torn Rwanda to supply relief to victims of HIV/AIDS.  Opening for Moon is local real estate agent-turned-singer-songwriter Adam Padfield, about whom I wrote this story last year.

Reason 3. The ridiculously talented Sarah Slean is performing at The Gig Theatre tomorrow night. She is not only one of Canada's best musical acts, but also a visual artist, a poet, a philosopher and a general overachiever.  I interviewed her for a story last month. She was very nice, but man, she made me feel like a big lazy stupidhead by comparison to her.

All three shows will feature sophisticated, stirring, emotionally powerful music -- and absolutely no panhandling or loitering whatsoever. 

The birthday gift that keeps on giving: Saigon Hookers

By Colin Hunter

Matthew Neville seems to be a take-charge kind of guy. He really wanted a big bash in honour of his birthday.  So he planned it himself. And he invited a bunch of Saigon Hookers, which isn't quite as naughty as it sounds.  The Saigon Hookers are some of Kitchener's rockin'est decibel-dishing misfits, who will surely raise some hell during the bash tonight (!) at FUBAR.

Neville's bash, dubbed "Birthday of the Dead," is being presented by the Tri-City Roller Girls, a squadron of badass babes on wheels who are poised to take the Canadian rollerderby circuit by storm (stay tuned to The Record for my ginormous story about them, coming very soon).

Though the poster promises tonight's party will be the "most horrific birthday debauchery the world will ever know," the party actually promises to make the world a bit of a better place, since it's also a fundraiser for National Service Dogs, an organization that does incredible work training dogs to help disabled people (read a story I wrote them, if you're so inclined).

So even if you feel awkward about spending a debauched evening with some Saigon Hookers, you can take solace in the knowledge that you're helping a great cause in the process. And you'll be giving Neville the birthday bash he always wanted (and then carefully orchestrated).   

An Indie-Rock SEXPLOSION!

by Colin Hunter

Just a quick note to alert all'y'all'z that a concert TONIGHT at the University of Waterloo Grad House promises to be mucho cool, so you should go and drink beers and rock out.  The concert is being billed as an INDIE ROCK SEXPLOSION, which itself should be reason enough to attend.

The headliners are Green Go from Guelph, who play funky/wonky electro-synth pop that sounds a bit like dance music made by Nintendo game programmers. Also playing is a band called Systems Analyst, which features a member of the recently-gone-kaput Waterloo pop squad The Sourkeys.

But for my money, the best bet at tonight's show might be a local band called Ace Kinkaid, who create dreamy, trippy, funky, groovy music that gives me goosebumps. Their drummer, Liam, also plays for Waterloo's mighty metal-mongers What's He Building in There?, whose debut album is utterly fantabulous (read my review, why don'tcha?).

Admission will be cheap, the Grad House has great beer, and the concert will be rad. Go to this show. That is all. Over.

Local Man Has Unnatural, Potentially Lucrative Devotion to Velcro

By Colin Hunter

Rod Martin of Waterloo has a burning passion. For Velcro shoes. And he's not ashamed to admit it.

Normally, this would qualify him for admission to a psychiatric care facility.

But now, thanks to an unusual contest hosted by Microsoft, Rod's passion for Velcro shoes may qualify him for a $25,000 prize. Which hardly seems right.

But here's the deal: Microsoft cooked up a competition called Share Your Passion, which invited do-it-yourself filmmakers to submit videos about -- you guessed it -- their passions.  Most people filmed short films about more sensible passions, like animal rescue or babies or yoga or oceanography. 

Of the 25 finalists, the video Rod made with his pal David Paisley is by far the goofiest. And it is the second-most popular among voting viewers, meaning Rod and David are in a tight race to win the $25,000 prize. 

Rod seems like a decent chap, despite his unnatural affection for Velcro shoes. He and David say that, if their video wins, they'll donate some of the prize money to the new recreation centre in Elmira and other good causes. So hooray for Velcro shoes. Watch the video below, and vote for it HERE.

Video: Velcro Shoes!

Local Stephen Colbert (Puppet) Courts Stephen Colbert (Man)

By Colin Hunter

Ok, this is a bit complicated, but I'll explain.

A local puppet who insists he is the real Stephen Colbert has challenged the other real Stephen Colbert (host of comedy news show The Colbert Report), to join forces with him.

Nope, that didn't quite explain it. I'll try again.

A Kitchener puppeteer named Brian Hogg, creator of a fantastic online puppet show called DotBoom (read my story about it here), was hoping to entice comic Stephen Colbert to make a guest voice-over appearance on DotBoom. But Hogg can't afford Colbert, since Colbert's appearance fee is significantly higher than DotBoom's budget, which is roughly zero. So Hogg has devised an alternative: he wants Colbert (the man) to invite Colbert (the puppet made in his image) to appear on The Colbert Report. 

Colbert (the puppet) has created this video campaign, which is quite persuasive and eloquent, especially when you consider that Hogg's hand is up his butt.