Within Earshot

Criss Angel: Mind-Bleak

Tonight in Las Vegas is the official gala opening of Criss Angel: BeLIEve, a multi-gazillion-dollar collaboration between the goth-punk illusionist and Cirque du Soleil.  In theory, the show should be spectacular.  Criss Angel is the most popular magician of his generation, known for making onlookers shriek in disbelief at his otherworldly "demonstrations" on the A&E show Mindfreak, and Cirque du Soleil is the world's most eye-popping acrobatic troupe.  So one would think a show that combines the talents of both proven entities would be an overwhelming success. But one would be wrong.

I saw the show live at the Luxor Hotel a few days ago during a little holiday in Vegas, and my mind was decidedly un-freaked. I was mind-befuddled, mind-bored and mind-disappointed, but certainly not mindfreaked. To call the show a train wreck would do a disservice to real train wrecks, which at least have the decency to not charge a fortune for viewing.  The show is a disjointed, unfocussed hodge-podge of mediocre magic, ham-fisted storytelling and acrobatics that fall way short of Cirque's high standards.

This is a real shame, since I'm a confirmed magic geek and I've been genuinely impressed with many of the feats Angel has pulled off on his TV show (though I could happily do without his rockstar swagger and bling).

But his schmaltzy new Vegas show contains only a handful of illusions, none of which is particularly puzzling or entertaining. And the whole shebang is wrapped in such a preposterous, indecipherable storyline (the basic premise being that we, the audience, are transported to the inner recesses of Angel's mind, which is mostly inhabited with rabbits and clowns, creepily) that audience members are left scratching their noggins in confusion. When Angel does break from the storyline to speak directly to the audience, his monologues come across as rambling and desperate, punctuated with occasional swear words in apparent hopes of getting some kind of reaction. The collective response of the audience seemed to be "Eeeeeesh."  The show almost falls into the so-bad-it's-good category, but not quite.

Thankfully, I was forewarned, having read lots of reviews by disgruntled people who had seen the show before me. Most reviews had a similar tone: "worst show I've ever seen," "worthless and... offensive," "a rotten experience start to finish" -- and here's my personal fave: "Go see Donny and Marie instead because even if you hate them... you'll still be better off."  I didn't see Donny and Marie, but did check out a different duo, Penn & Teller, whose magic show was infinitely more entertaining than Angel's.

Considering that Angel signed a 10-year contract to perform BeLIEve at the Luxor, I seriously hope he and his Cirque squad do some serious rejigging (and to be fair, I saw the show while it was still in previews, which are meant to be rejigged).  But the show seems so irredeemably flawed, it seems the only humane fate for it would be a swift demise. Then Criss Angel can focus his efforts on doing the mindfreaky stuff he does very well. Stuff like this:

The best music video ever, literally...

I've always considered the video for A-Ha's "Take on Me" to be one of the greatest ever made.  But I never really gave much thought to its meaning.  Thankfully, somebody else did, and that somebody created this hilarious spoof version with very "literal" interpretations of the action.

Music Video Contest Update!

Submissions are rolling in for the Within Earshot Music Video contest, and I'll be posting them soon. 

There's still plenty of time for local musicians to create a video for the contest, especially now that the deadline has been extended by a few days to Nov. 17.  That gives you one more weekend to edit and tinker with your masterpieces.

Here's the deal with the contest:  Any band or musician from Waterloo Region or Guelph is encouraged to film a video for one or more of their songs.  The best video, as determined by online viewer voting, will win $1,500, earn a headlining spot for a show at Maxwell's Music House, get a big write-up in the paper and surely get lots of new fans. 

Already confirmed as participating are such acts as Decibel, Saigon Hookers, West Memphis Suicide, Ann Marie Pincivero and Calliope's Radio.

All the details you need to know for submitting a video are on the contest page.

Videos can be in ANY style -- live-action, animation, concert footage, claymation, stop-motion, tragicomic, film noir, etc.   And I kind of hope we get a video submission similar to the monstrosity posted below, which might just be the most wonderfully horrible video ever made.

 

Horror on the roller rink...

The Tri-City Roller Girls are back in action tomorrow night in what will likely prove their most intense and violent showdown to date. The event is being billed as The Little Bout of Horrors -- perhaps a prophetic tag, since it will see K-W's squad of derby vixens take on the The Montreal Sexpos, a more experienced (and fantastically named) team.

Since forming last winter, the Tri-City squad has ballooned in membership from the original dozen girls, and their thrice-weekly practices have turned them into hard-hitting hellcats. But Montreal is a strong derby town, and frankly the Montreal Sexpos look kinda scary. So no matter what happens, the bout is sure to satisfy anyone's appetite for action, violence and ladies in skimpy clothing. Yeah, I'll be there.

The action happens at the New Hamburg Arena tomorrow at 7 p.m. Tickets are 12 bucks at the door.

Here's a taste:

He ain't gonna come our way...

  Lenny Kravitz has, at the very last minute, cancelled his gig tonight at the Kitchener Memorial Auditorium. According to a press release, Kravitz is sick and intends to reschedule his show for another date (so if you have a ticket, hang on to it). Perhaps he caught a chill after wearing only a strategially placed guitar, as seen at right.

That sickness seems to be getting around. Comedian Margaret Cho cancelled her gig last weekend at Centre in the Square due to a nagging illness, and a few months ago rocker Danko Jones cancelled his gig The Starlight because of health problems.

If I were a more cynical person, I might wonder if these people actually have some kind of aversion to Kitchener.  Or perhaps Kitchener has some kind of aversion to them, which might be adversely affecting ticket sales?  But heck no, I'm not that cynical!  I'm going to be optimistic and assume that these entertainers truly have been feeling under the weather, and that they will come back and entertain us another day.  Feel better, Lenny. And Margaret. And Danko.

Peddling Pig for Preposterous Profit

A few weeks ago, The Record ran a story about Dara Hirbod, a 19-year-old poli-sci student at Wilfrid Laurier University who bought himself a pig for 30 bucks and kept it in his backyard.

He bought the pig because he "wanted to start a legend," he said.  "I wanted to be the first person with a pig."

There are some flaws in that logic. First, millions and millions of people have had pigs before Hirbod.  They're called farmers.

And creating a legend? Though pig-ownership?  Methinks "legend" is perhaps too strong a word, whereas "silly attention-getting stunt" would have sufficed.

Hirbod also insisted he also planned to butcher and roast the pig (which he named Bacon, natch). If that were his sole intention behind buying the pig, I'd have no qualms with it. I think it's important for meat-eaters (and I'm a voracious one) to participate in the butchering process every once in a while to truly appreciate where their food comes from.

But Hirbod won't get that chance, since someone saved his Bacon. Last week, a woman arrived at his High Street home and said she wanted to rescue the pig. "She made me an offer I couldn't refuse," Hirbod said in a follow-up story in the paper.

That offer: 500 bucks. For a pig Hirbod bought for just 30 bucks a few weeks earlier. So he made a $470 profit off a kind-hearted woman who just wanted to save an animal's life. It's not technically extortion, but it sure smells that way. To add a touch of insult to injury, Hirbod then said: "$500 can buy a lot of pigs." What a charmer. Yes, you created a legend around yourself, fella. But it's not one you should be terribly proud of.

If Tom Waits and Grandmaster Flash somehow had a child...

... that child might have turned out to be just like C.R. Avery, perhaps the world's first beatboxing, piano-playing, harmonica-howling spoken word poet.

Apparently, Tom Waits is a big fan of Avery ("He's blowin' my mind," Waits reportedly growled), which is all the endorsement I need to check out Avery tomorrow night at Maxwell's Music House in Waterloo.

Avery, who just returned from a gig in France, is also performing with his a six-piece band this Friday at the Carden Street Cafe in Guelph.  According to anyone who has seen him live, he is not to be missed.

Avery has seemingly created an artistic genre all his own, playing bluesy piano and harmonica dirges accompanied by hip hop-inspired beatboxing and poetic recitations. Kind of hard to imagine, huh?  This clip should help:

Will the real Colin Hunter please stand up?

by Colin Hunter

A colleague just brought to my attention the Entertainment section of Saturday's Toronto Star, in which there was an ad for an upcoming concert titled "Timeless" at Roy Thompson Hall featuring the Sinatra-inspired stylings of a crooner named Colin Hunter.

And I was all, like, "Whaa?  That's me!" 

Then I was all, like, "Ohh, an imposter!" 

The other Colin Hunter, the non-me version of Colin Hunter, has a velvety voice, two albums to his credit and a pensive, faraway gaze, as seen on the softly lit cover photo of his latest disc, Timeless.

I have none of these things.

There are other differences between me (the REAL Colin Hunter) and the non-me interloper who is blatantly using my patented moniker to sell albums. 

The other Colin Hunter is not only a singer, but also the founder and CEO of Sunwing Airlines. I, on the other hand, recently travelled to Halifax on Sunwing Airlines (verdict: surprisingly good sandwiches, and plenty of legroom if you're under four-foot-nine).

The other Colin Hunter, along with his son, earned the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award, whereas I, perhaps more impressively, once placed third in a Gummy Bear eating contest. The other Colin Hunter is bald, whereas I am not yet bald.

The other Colin Hunter has a website, which you can visit here.  I also have a website, which you can visit here.

Don't be fooled by cheap imitations (or rather by wealthy, talented imitations...).

Yours,

The Real Colin Hunter

Heavy Metal + Chamber Music + Violent Bloodsports = A Busy Weekend

Variety is the spice of life, right? Right.  With that in mind, allow me to recommend a few life-spicening entertainment options happening around town this weekend.

First up, Jakk Damage is playing tonight at my all-time favourite scuzzy dive bar, The Circus Room. Jakk Damage plays intensely heavy southern-fried metal (if you've heard Black Label Society, you've pretty much heard Jakk Damage -- but good luck seeing Black Label Society in Kitchener for a few bucks in Kitchener). You can read my review of their debut CD here.

At the exact opposite of the musical spectrum is a cool five-part concert series starting tomorrow at the Music Room of the K-W Chamber Music Society. The concerts will see the renowned Aviv Quartet perform a complete series of compositions by Dmitri Shostakovich, one of the greatest classical composers of the 20th century. Between tomorrow and next Friday, the ensemble will play 15 of Shostakovich's compositions for string quartet -- a rare feat and a major coup for local classical enthusiasts.

And if chamber music isn't quite your thing, how about no-holds-barred cage fighting?  One of the biggest stars in the Ultimate Fighting Championship, Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell, is giving a seminar tomorrow at the grand opening of DojoBuy, a martial arts supply store in Waterloo. Liddell is renowned the world over for his ability to beat the bejesus out of people while wearing shorts. He was also in the movie The Postman Rings Twice with Jack Nicholson, oddly.  And he appeared in a Nickelback video, because everybody makes mistakes. Here's a video of him turning people into mushy goo:

Go see this movie. End of discussion.

Here's the thing: you should see the movie Man on Wire.

It's a documentary that chronicles Philippe Petit's illegal 1974 high-wire walk between the twin towers of the World Trade Center.  I saw it last night and it's freakin' fantastic. The events leading up to the stunt are reconstructed like a classic heist movie, with real footage bolstered by beautifully shot re-enactments.

I won't say much more, other than this: tonight is your last chance to catch Man on Wire at the Princess Cinema, but the film will also be showing as part of the upcoming Grand River Film Festival. If you see only one movie this year, see Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Scratch that. See Man on Wire.  Here's a trailer. Watch it: